Warning... A slightly off-color post
Posted on May 07, 2008 in Erectile dysfunction drugs
It’s been a bad while now the male of the brand amid the ED here. Trying to stay medical, and out of the gutter here… Remember, facts and details have been altered to protect patient confidentiality, so, if you happen to be reading this, and think you recognize yourself in these stories, I’m sure you’re mistaken. (I’m also sure you wouldn’t want to come out in public and admit it) First patient came walking into the unit looking like he was doing the kidney-stone shuffle. Walking bent over, obviously hurting. A few minutes later, the triage nurse comes up to me and says, “Would you please take this guy? He says he has some rings stuck on his penis.” I have no problem with what anyone chooses to do with another consenting adult, and I was actually straight faced when I walked in the room and said, “Hi, I’m John, and I’m one of the nurses… What brings you in tonight?” When he said, “Let’s get this over with…, pulls down his shorts and he has four stainless-steel rings of decreasing diameter stuck over the shaft of his penis. These things were the same thickness and looked like the shackle part of a master lock, more than ¼ inch thick. The patient had put them on to have sex with his wife (who actually came in with him and was in the room), and fell asleep assuming they would fall off as his erection subsided. Only they were too tight, and the blood could not escape. He woke up three hours later to find the head of his penis swollen. So he spent an hour cutting on the rings with a rotary dremel tool. Yes, a rotary cutting tool. Now, that took a lot of guts. I don’t think I could hold a high speed cutting tool that close to my privates (of course, I might rather that than going in to the local ED). He had made a little progress on the largest ring, but it was the one closes to his body, and not the problem. The primary problem was the one closest to the end of his penis, which was the smallest in diameter. The head of his penis was literally the size of a tangerine, and, rather painful to the touch. I hurt just looking at it. I worked on the first ring with a ring cutter for 15 minutes, and got about ½ way through it, but had destroyed the ring cutter. So, we called in the big guns. We called maintenance and they brought down the 5-foot handled bolt cutters. Oh, the look the guy game me when I walked in with those… We broke a tongue depressor in half and covered the sharp ends with a little tape, and lubed it up really good, and forced it between the first ring and the penis. Keep in mind, I had given this guy 5mg of versed and a total of 20mg of morphine, and he was still yelling at the top of his lungs. While I steadied the bolt cutters and the ring, two other guys worked to force the bolt cutter together. It finally broke through, but the steel was too tough to bend, so we had to make another cut a half-turn around. The man looked at me and said, “How are you going to reach down there?” to which I simply grabbed the ring and twisted it around, which earned me another scream. A second cut, and the first ring was off. We packed his crotch with ice in hopes the swelling would go down enough to get the others off, and by this time it was day shift, so I reported off on him. I found out later that the swelling didn’t go down enough, so they had to cut the other three off as well. I also got to see my first case of priapism this week. Poor younger man had mixed methamohetamine use with some purloined erectile dysfunction drugs. Had an erection for 6 hours before he came in. They had tried numerous drugs including terbutaline before I came in. When I got there, they were waiting for a urologist. The urologist got there and asked me for three 14 gauge angiocaths. Now, I have put a 16 gauge catheter in a patient who was bleeding out, and it felt like I was starting a garden hose. So, the urologist walks in the room, and explains to the man that there are chambers full of blood in the penis, and he needs to drain them. He said, “all I need to do is stick these needles in your penis” and pulls out the angiocaths from their sheaths. In front of both our eyes, the erection quickly faded. The urologist looked at me and said, “It works every time! I’ve only had to drain one in my entire career” and walked out…. viagra cialis cheap cialis Generic Viagra